


(Not) A Mother

by dxs



Series: Jason Todd birthday week [2]
Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: ADiTF fix it, Day 6, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, JTBW19, Jason Todd is Robin, Jtbdayweek19, Sheila grows a conscience, didn't die, jtbdayweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 15:28:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20245099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dxs/pseuds/dxs
Summary: In which Jason meets Sheila but he doesn't die.





	(Not) A Mother

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#

Sheila Haywood is not a mother. 

She is not even a good person. Sure, she will pretend to get what she wants but she never lies to herself. Sheila Haywood is not a good person, least of all a mother. 

Sheila always knew she never wanted to be a mother. That she wasn't cut out for motherhood. Even when she discovered that she was pregnant, and too far along to safely get an abortion. 

It's why she did not spare a backward glance after she handed Willis the infant, barely a week old, despite her knowledge that he was the most unsuitable person in the world to raise a child. 

But here she is, with said infant fifteen years later, because he is desperate and searching for a familiar connection. 

Sheila is intrigued. And not just because he didn't end up as a statistic for infant mortality in Crime Alley. But because this boy before her is nothing like her, and as much as he takes after Willis in looks, he is nothing like his father too. 

For the first time in her life, it seems she has done a good thing. 

Here he is, a combination of her and Willis’ DNA, so good, so pure and just so kind. It's almost sickening. How can a child from the Narrows, one who fights against the worst of Gotham be so naive and trusting? Sheila didn't think these traits survived in the Alley anymore. 

It is no surprise that her first thought after he reveals his secret identity to her is that she can give Joker the one thing he wants more than anything, in exchange for her freedom from him. 

Looking into Jason's trusting eyes as he explains to her that he has orders not to go in the warehouse, Sheila bites down the lie at the tip of her tongue. She knows what will happen to him if she hands him to Joker- she has heard the reports on numerous occasions. 

How much time away from Joker will that buy her, really? How long until he decides he has developed a taste for trusting sidekicks and wants an encore and decides she can serve as his new supplier? 

That is, if he doesn't decide she cannot keep a secret and disposes of her totally. Joker didn't get to where he is by leaving loose ends lying about. 

Does she really want to be an accomplice to a child's murder? 

Handing Jason to Joker will only give him more blackmail material. The boy already survived Crime Alley, no need to test his fate against the Joker. 

“You're right,” She tells Jason. “We should stay away from the place. Come.” She takes his hand and leads him to her quarters. It's as far away from the warehouse as she can get without arousing suspicion. 

They spend the next few minutes getting to know each other. She distracts him from pressing for answers about her own problems by asking about his own life. 

Jason is very forthcoming when talking about life as Bruce Wayne's son. It doesn't take her long to deduce that his favorite part of it is returning to school and being Robin. 

Still, Sheila still cannot believe she made this. How is it that a combination of her and Willis’ DNA produced someone so selfless and kind? 

Jason is a prime example for the debate between nature versus nurture, if there ever was one. Born to criminals and raised in the cesspool of crime. He grew up in a place where good things go to die yet, his empathy survived. 

The discussion takes on a sour note when they get to why he felt the need to seek her out, that's when his desperation leaked through. 

He talks about being a murder suspect and Batman's decision to fire him. How worried he is that he may soon end up homeless and without a family. 

“Wayne will never put you out of your home.” Sheila tries to reassure the boy. She doesn't know for sure, but she really hopes he is not the type of man that will do such a thing. 

Everything he has told her so far points to him being a good father to Jason. A father that is apparently okay with his child running a chasing criminals, but still better than the previous one. 

“You don't know that.” Jason argues sullenly. He is clearly not happy that she is taking Wayne's side in this fight. But it's either convince him he already has the best deal or be stuck with a fifteen year old she has no idea what to do with. 

Besides, he really does have the best deal. It's not everyday a homeless child from the Narrows gets upgraded to a mansion, private school and summer vacations. Sheila couldn't have dreamed of those things when she was Jason's age. Life never rewards good people, but it seems like it's trying hard to be kind to Jason. It's important that he doesn't blow it. 

"All you have told me so far, suggests that you have a father who cares for you. Unless you've been lying to me." She watches him closely, giving him a quick once over for signs that he may be hiding something more serious, but finds none. 

Sheila has heard a lot about Batman and his love for his Robins. Sure, some of it is from the thugs he beats up and should be taken with a grain of salt, but you can't rule anything out completely when it comes to Gotham. For all she knows, Wayne might be serving Batman little boys on a platter in exchange for a one man army to do his dirty work. 

Jason doesn't give her any reason to believe he is hiding something with his denial though, so Sheila calms down.

"Has he left you to starve and refused you of anything you wanted? Besides Robin."

"No," He mumbles. 

"Has his or Batman's hand ever strayed or touched you where you know they shouldn't?" 

"What?" He asks scandalized. "No! They're not like that, okay?" 

She asks a few more questions, like if he's been coarse to do things he's not comfortable with. Both his words and reactions lead her to believe he's not lying when he reassures her he's not being abused. "Then don't worry, he won't send you out of his house. That house is as much your home as it is his. His reputation will not survive him sending you away."

Jason thinks about her words for a moment, still not reassured. "Batman is still going to fire me," The boy looks like he's about to burst into tears. "He'll take away Robin and probably find someone better." 

"There will never be a better Robin than you, Jason." She gave birth to him. Sheila may not know what to do with a child but she knows this much. He is the best there is.

"He's always talking about what a great Robin Nightwing was. And I try, but it's never good enough."

Sheila cuddles the boy into her side, in a stilted attempt at comfort. She has no idea how to comfort someone. That is not her forte. She does not suffer needy people. But the sight of this boy hurting and feeling so helpless about it tugs on something she didn't know she had. 

"Would getting fired be such a bad thing?" She asks. 

For the first time since their meeting, she gets a glimpse of Willis' fiery temper. The glare he shoots her could have set her ablaze. "It would be the worst!" He tells her, like she's stupid. 

"Why?" 

"Because Robin is mine! I like helping people. I like having Batman's six and doing good things."

"There are many ways to help people that do not include fighting criminals." She points out. "Have you considered organizing a charity that focuses on the Narrows? I know the people who still live there will appreciate it. Wayne has the money for it." 

"Sure, I know that. Bruce does that. But I still want to help as a superhero."

"Then create a new identity. That Nightwing was Robin and now he's not. He's Nightwing, a full fledged superhero."

"Yeah, but--" Jason pauses, not so sure anymore. "But he's the one that quit."

"When he quit, he could have taken the Robin name with him to blaze his own trail. But he didn't. You want to know why?" 

Jason nods warily. 

"He left Robin behind because Robin is a sidekick. Like training wheels. You will always be a sidekick as long as you are Robin and Batman will treat you that way. And maybe Nightwing quit before he could be fired. Don't you think you're old enough to leave the training wheels behind?

"You can create your own identity, choose your own name and be your own person. And no one will compare you to anyone because you'll be completely original."

She watches him chew on his lip as he thinks about her proposition. "But I like working with Batman. Nightwing rarely works with him now."

Sheila cannot believe she is playing therapist for Batman's sidekick and Wayne's son. How can two supposedly grown men drop the ball so hard on their child? "You don't have to stop working with him just because you're not Robin anymore. I'm sure Gotham is too big for Batman alone. Be his partner, instead of his sidekick. Who knows, you may even help him mentor the next Robin and give them the talk when the time comes to create their own identity."

With how often these vigilantes find young children to brainwash into joining their missions, Sheila does not doubt that another child will soon be in Jason's current situation. 

She can see the gears turning in his head as he thinks about all that she has told him. 

"Look at me, Jason," She waits until he looked up from the table. "If Wayne turns out to be an ass and tosses you out, make sure you give him hell for it." 

Jason stares at her like he doesn't understand what she's saying. 

"People are always talking about what a detective Batman is and how good he is at finding evidence, no matter where it is stashed. He must have thought you some of his skills. If he decides to throw you out because Batman doesn't want you anymore, turn that against him. Find all the incriminating evidence you can get on him. 

"Threaten to sell all the information to the highest bidder, unless he decides to pay you off. If he doesn't, go ahead and sell it. I doubt he will call your bluff, I've heard about the things he gets up to with Batman. I know people who will pay good money for Batman's identity. That way, you'll be set for life."

Jason jaw has dropped during the course of her speech. She really hopes that he's getting everything she is saying. 

"You want me to betray Batman?" He asks, his face a mask of horror. He is appalled that she would suggest something like that. 

"Only if Wayne betrays you first and puts you out of his home. You are not a tool for anybody to use only when it's convenient. If Batman lets him throw you out like used goods, then he's no hero and it's nothing less than he deserves." Sheila tells him. Nobody is going to use him and then dump him because they want a better model. "And if it turns out he's not the hero he claims to be, you be careful around him, okay? Watch yourself and be smart."

Jason doesn't respond. He's still staring at her like she just grew a second head right before his very eyes. Or maybe he's just seeing her clearly for the first time. 

He looks around the little room uncomfortably, Sheila knows he is itching to object. If she needed proof that this boy is nothing like her and Willis, she's found it. 

She would never have passed up an opportunity to learn how best to take down someone, and neither would Willis. How had he survived this long? 

Sheila wonders if this is the work of the young girl who had fallen for Willis' charms and subsequently had her life ruined by him. 

Perhaps it is for the best that he did not take after her. Sheila has been forced to take stock of her life since Joker returned to collect what he is owed and she is not happy with a lot of things. She was ready to kill her own child, in order to escape the consequences of her crimes.

How low does one have to sink to reach such depths? 

Sheila is filled with a lot of regrets. So many things she would change, given half the chance. 

"So, Batman will be back soon." Sheila says, taking pity on the boy who seems lost for words. It's also a reminder to her that Joker won't wait forever. He'll come looking for her soon. Especially if he hears that Batman has foiled his plans. 

"Yeah," He looks like he's counting the seconds till Batman arrives. "He will want to speak with you, but don't worry about it, okay? Just tell him the truth and he'll help. And when all this is over, we can all go home--"

"Jason--" 

"Or, I know you may not want to return to Gotham and you have people depending on you here. I can visit during the holidays and you can show me around?"

God,this kid is getting ahead of himself. She has to nip this in the bud before it gets out of hand. 

Sheila glances out through the window. She can't see the warehouse entrance from here but she knows her cigarette break has taken too long already. It's been almost an hour. Joker won't wait forever. 

"You understand he will arrest me too, don't you?" She asks. "I'm not innocent in all of this."

"Yeah, but," He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "I told you, Bruce will help if I ask him. I'll make sure you get a good lawyer and let the jury know you were being blackmailed."

She needs to make sure he doesn't get caught up in her trouble. The last thing Sheila wants is for him to get hurt in a misguided attempt to save her. He seems just like the type. "I haven't been completely honest with you, Jason." she says, before he can get even more worked up. 

"Mom?" 

God, she hates when he calls her that. She is not a mother, least of all, his. Neither does she deserve his concern. "I didn't just leave Gotham because a patient died. I left because they found evidence that I've been helping the joker."

Jason reels back like he's been hit. He stares at her in disbelief. "But you said--" 

"I lied. I'm sorry, Jason."

He takes a few deep breaths to stabilize himself before he speaks again. "It's okay. I mean, it's not but you deserve a second chance and you've been making up for it since you got here. Otherwise, you wouldn't be helping all these people in need." 

He looks like he desperately needs something to hold on to. Sheila is surprised by how affected she is that she's taking it away from him. "I haven't. Not really." She tells him, watching his little face crumble. "It was just a quick avenue to make some easy money. I've been embezzling money from the organization since I arrived here."

"Why would you do that, mom?" He asks in frustration. She can see the sheen of tears gathered in his eyes, that he's working hard to keep from falling. He rises from his seat and begins pacing the room. "If you plead guilty and confess you can get a reduced sentence. You might even get a deal if you can provide useful information on the Joker and his accomplices. People do it all the time."

Sheila sighs, glancing out the window. Joker must be looking for her. One of his goons has been patrolling the area. "Jason, I'm not afraid to go to prison," She tells him. It will be the escape she needs to get away from Joker. If she does the time, he cannot blackmail her for the crime. "Don't worry about me."

"Of course, I'll worry about you," The boy explodes. "You're my mom. I can't just leave you out to hang."

_I almost killed you._ Sheila thinks. _A few minutes ago, I was ready to sell you out to get away with my crimes._

"But I'm not," She says in a calm voice. 

That stops him in his tracks. "What?" 

"I am not your mother, Jason."

"But you said-- Was that a lie too?" 

"It takes more than donating DNA and carrying a child to take one a mother, Jason. A mother is supposed to care for you, and take you stuff. They're supposed to provide comfort when you need it and kiss your hurts away," At least that's what the books and media always say. "I didn't do any of that. In fact, you had someone who did that. Someone who taught you right from wrong and was there for you when you need them. You had that in Catherine. She is your mother. The same way Wayne is your father and not Willis."

"But--" 

"Jason, you didn't even know Catherine didn't give birth to you. Because she loved you and claimed you as her child. That's what a mother is. Someone who chooses you and puts you first. Not someone who leaves you behind in search of a better life." 

Sheila is aware of how blunt she is being, but she cannot give him false hope. If he latches on to her, she doesn't know what she'll do. 

Jason's answer is lost when the doors burst open and Batman appears. 

Jason throws himself at Batman, who cradles the sobbing child in his arms, even as he keeps his eyes on Sheila. 

"What happened?" He growls at her. If not for the boy in his arms, Sheila would be worried about her safety. 

She gives him a run down of what caused Jason's distress, as well as update on the joker. But he already knew that. 

Once Jason is calm and Sheila is in handcuffs, Batman goes after Joker, just as he's attempting his escape. 

"If you need a good lawyer, you can call. Bruce will get you one," Jason says awkwardly, just before the Ethiopian authorities take her away. Batman has not left his side since he returned from capturing the joker. He has a hand on the boy's shoulder and Jason is leaning against him.  
"Maybe I could write and visit you."

Sheila shakes her head. "Don't. Okay?" He's too gullible for her to trust herself around him. But at his hurt look, she continues. "You have a family. Stay with them. You've already helped me more than you know. I don't want you wasting any more time on me." 

Then she turns to Batman. He's very intimidating. Not even seeing him comfort a child has made him less so but she squares her shoulders with as much dignity as she can manage while in handcuffs. "Tell Wayne that if he knows what's good for him, he will take good care of him," She says, nodding to Jason. 

She doesn't get to see his reaction, as one of the officers shove her into the police vehicle. 

Sheila is aware she has no leg to stand on about treating kids right, but she is not a good person and she never claimed to be a mother. Wayne made the choice. He should live up to expectations that come with it. 

As the police vehicle pulls out, Sheila leans back into the seat. She could not have guessed what turn her life would take when she woke up this morning. She needs to start trying to figure out how to get a reduced sentence and survive prison. But she knows it could have been so much worse. 

The most important thing is that Jason is safe, and hopefully with a family that deserve him. 

Sheila may not be a mother, but one thing she knows for sure is that she is not a monster.


End file.
